Existential Angst

My blog is to honor my father and children that have passed away as I search for meaning in their loss.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Being Positive

I’ve started down a path that has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I thought raising my son would be the hardest but to raise him right; I must do this first and that is, become a positive person. To be a positive person I have to raise the bar on what I accept for myself and others. I have to become a person that responds with love in the sight of hate. I have to show compassion to those that wrong me. I must be a beacon of hope to the hopeless.

I have been trying very hard to respond to the world with love when I wanted to respond viciousness. I know for sure that what I put into this world is what I get back. It happens over and over again in a karmic sort of way that when evil is repaid with evil only evil triumphs. All one must do is go for a drive and you’ll quickly find a reason to hate somebody.

What I have realized is that I don’t know everything. It seems simple to say but when I think about it I know that I can’t count how many times I have dismissed someone’s opinion because I looked down on them. “They can’t know the answer!” I say but how do I know everything to know this? They may not know the answer but the may have a point of view that leads you to a deeper understanding. I have missed out on educating myself on a host of things because I thought I already had the answers. Children can help you see that you don’t have all of the answers. As the old fairytale show us, a child can see that the emperor has no clothes as all of us adults complement him for his fine wardrobe.

Being a positive person means to me that in every interaction with people or the world, I must remember that it is more important to feel good than be right. Fighting about a parking spot or cutting myself on a plastic package just isn’t worth it. I can find a better place to park and I can find a better way to get into the package. I can realize that if I walked or biked, I would need to find the parking place. If I didn’t have such a need for material things, I wouldn’t need go any where nor fight the packaging.

Life is the journey, not the destination. A positive person sees life as a dance. We are to enjoy every step and every beat. We are to feel the joy of all of our fellow dancers on the floor. Once I saw that the point of life isn’t to go from here to there, from birth to grave, I understood that I didn’t know everything. I don’t know enough to be mean, hateful and evil. I don’t know why certain dancers come in and out of my life. All I know is that feeling good and feeling free is a positive thing for me to do and since it is one thing I do know, it is what I’m going to do.

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